Tag Archive | headache

I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss …

So I woke up yesterday and thought ‘oh, after breakfast I must get started on some work’. By the time I finished breakfast? I ended up reading all day again. I was mostly working through old books I’ve read before on my Kindle. I was in a romance mood so was enjoying some happily ever after moments.

 

Today I decided to be more proactive and get going with my novel planning. National Novel Writing Month is just 4 days and 11 hours away so I need to start making some progress on what I’ll be doing during the month. I have some ideas but am still struggling to bring everything together. My beta reader has said I’m much better at the family stuff than I am at the politics stuff which I totally agree with. Sadly I think I have to have the politics stuff so I am going to have to heavily work on those scenes.

 

I woke up happy today though. The Gabapentin certainly seems to be working to some extent. I definitely woke up in less pain than I have in a couple of weeks. The dizziness I had on the first day seems to have calmed down so hopefully this is a new dawn of  a headache free life. But of course I never get too hopefully. During my Cognitive Behaviour Therapy session (Thursday 25th October) we got to talking about relapse and my anxiety about the possibility of that happening. My therapist wants me to think through a scale of ‘blip’ days to full relapse symptoms. So now I have to pour over my memories and try and figure out what the different gradations of health I’ve experienced are. Not something that makes me feel very cheery. Oh well, never mind, there is always a good book to take my mind of it all!

 

Hours Sleep Today so far : – 7 hours in 2 sessions 😐
Headache intensity / pain level : 2 😀 😀
Nausea level : 0 😀
Joint / muscle pain : 2 😀
Fatigue : 5 😐
Brain Fog : 3.5 🙂

I get knocked down, I get up again …

Nothing’s going to keep me down. Certainly not a rush job to get my final assignment in, an intensive thesis proofreading period followed by an all-consuming revision period. Oh, wait, maybe that will get me down permanently!! But have no fear I hope to drag myself out of the pit of exhaustion soon.

 

Today and yesterday have certainly helped buck up my spirits. Yesterday I had my review with the neurologist. She is a lovely lady. She gave me a lot of confidence for the future. Over the last month the severity of my headaches has been increasing. I’ve been gradually getting more and more concerned that the beta-blockers were not working to suppress them. My neurologist was unsurprised and immediately prescribed a new drug – Gabapentin – which is an all around pain reliever. She really inspired me to feel confident that there are other options and that we are only just beginning the process. There is no reason why we won’t eventually have the headaches completely under control.

 

Today I then headed off for my penultimate cognitive behaviour therapy session. We discussed my plan for the future. First we reviewed what I learnt from my sessions and then discussed how I can apply those skills in the future. The sessions have been a major help to me. I think I’ve now got a handle i) on saying ‘no’ when I want to, ii) on my anxiety towards certain stressful events such as travelling through an airport, iii) handling my need to always be on the go rather than resting. However there are still some areas that need a lot more work such as my anxiety about relapsing. But overall these sessions have helped my to move from ‘moderate’ to ‘severely’ anxious down to the top end of ‘normally’ anxious.

 

In my plans for the next month I am gearing up towards National Novel Writing Month. I started back into reading some of my half finished writing advice books as a way to get my mind in the right framework. I’m getting there but am still feeling pretty sluggish from my recent activities. Hopefully I’ll be up to speed and ready to tackle the novel once more come November 1st.

 

Hours Sleep Today so far : – 9 hours in 1 sessions 🙂
Headache intensity / pain level : 5 😦
Nausea level : 0 😀
Joint / muscle pain : 3 😐
Fatigue : 6.5 😦
Brain Fog : 5.5 😦

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? …

I’ve found a new cure for afternoon naps – zooming military aircraft. We had our local airshow yesterday. Surprising it is quite difficult to sleep through a fly by of a Vulcan bomber, not to mention the fighter jets and such. I just powered through. I did looked like a pile of wet noodles by the evening. Even my sister had mercy on me and let me off playing family board games with her. We indulged in Being Human – series 2 and Dexter – series 3 instead. A wonderful evening of tele.

 

Class of 2002 Reunion

Progress is finally occurring with my school reunion. We got some dates through so we can finally (!) being arranging a date and the specifics. I say ‘we’ I mean me. I’ve got loads of ideas but whether I can make them happen or not, humm. At least my sister is on board with all of them and has already promised to help sort out some of the paper side. I need lots of stuff printed for display and she is going to help out with ferrying my to a copiers etc.

 

I’ve realized organizing something like this event is actually quite complicated. I mean I knew it would be but we need helpers and I don’t where we are going to get them for free. I can’t be stewarding the parking, on the sign-in desk, on the yearbook desk, on the drinks table and mc-ing at the same time! I’ve only got three spare family members to ‘volunteer’ to the job as well. Well, we’ll figure something out. My sister suggested that we should just let everyone figure out there own parking and that they were probably capable of pouring their own drinks! True I’m sure, but I’m bound to spend the event popping over to check on everything. I’d really like to be able to spend the event circulating and such not being stressed over the organisation side. This is a fanciful dream on my part but I can hope!

 

NanoWriMo

I got my 3,000 words written yesterday so I’m on track to make my target word count if I can write 3,000 today. My characters were very co-operative yesterday for a change. I do wonder whether I will have to cut the chapter I wrote yesterday. I spent 3,000 words describing the arrival of my main character, Victoria’s, family members to a dinner. I wanted to show all the different relationships but it is probably too long. Anyway no editing until the novel is finished! I do seem to be building towards or at least foreshadowing an ending now so that is good news. My characters are arranging themselves to all be in the same place at the same time for the first time in the novel. I’m looking forward to seeing what they have to say to each other.

 

So I’m off to write for a bit, until my sister comes downstairs to interrupt me. Yes, I know I should be doing some Open University work but my brain is a bit crunched today. I can’t seem to get it into gear at the moment. It surprises me I can still write but maybe I’ll look back with a clear brain and see that I have to scrap everything I’ve written in this state. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll feel less like my brain is stuck to an ice pole. If I tip my head back it feels like the forehead will rip off, right now it just feels like a brain deep burning sensation.

 

Hours Sleep Today so far : – 9 hours in 1 sessions 🙂
Headache intensity / pain level : 4.5 😦
Nausea level : 0 😀
Joint / muscle pain : 2 😀
Fatigue : 5.5 😦
Brain Fog : 5.5 😦

Hey, ho, me hearties …

Seafarers!! Pirates ahoy 🙂 It’s my dad’s birthday so we splashed out for The Settlers of Catan extension called Catan Seafarers. We’re out for dinner tonight at our favourite pub. We have eaten there for most of our major celebrations; my 14th birthday, my 16th birthday, my GCSE’s results, my A level results,  and pretty much every other birthday and celebration for my family members. At one point we were going about once a month, now a days it is more like three times a year.

My acupuncturist has done a fantastic job today so that my headache and muscle pain levels are pretty minor right now! 😀

I hope to get some writing done today. My sister keeps saying she is going to have a nap but as she is still sitting next to me watching the track cycling I’m not holding my breath. I might go and have a nap myself!

My inner critic was battering me over the head as I lay on the table today. I spent the car journey, to my needle session, reading a very explicit ebook of short pieces of advice on writing – 250 Things You Should Know About Writing by Chuck Wendig. They are quite amusing, very insightful but dreadfully rude! Anyway they got me worrying about my plot and character development again. It’s the whole conflict thing. I’m not sure I have any conflict at all in my book so far 😦

Well I’m off to either have a nap, write some more of my book or surf NaNo forums.

Hours Sleep Today so far : – 6 hours in 1 session 😦
Headache intensity / pain level : 2 🙂
Nausea level : 0 😀
Joint / muscle pain : 1 😀
Fatigue : 5.5 😐
Brain Fog : 5 🙂

Where is a poisoned spindle when you need it …

I want some liquid morphine. My sister got some why can’t I? The headache is appalling today. I’m barely sleeping – only an hour or two at a go. I’ve been tossing back the painkillers every four hours.

 

I did manage to use my hours in the dark to mull over my next scenes. Looks like my characters are trying to go off on their own plot again. I’ve decided to let have their way for now but they will listen to me later. We have plot points to hit!

 

I’ve been enjoying the diving and equestrian today. I can potter on my computer and see the TV out of the corner of my eye so I can look up for the good moments. I got very distracted by the diving though. Eye candy anyone?

 

Hours Sleep Today so far : – 5 hours in 2 sessions 😦 😦
Headache intensity / pain level : 9 😦 😦
Nausea level : 5 😦
Joint / muscle pain : 4 😦
Fatigue : 6.5 😦
Brain Fog : 4.5 🙂

Tick, tock, tick, tock …

Another day crawls by. I’m signed up for the August camp of National Novel Writing Month. 6 days to go! Time is going too slowly. I haven’t got much writing done – only 74 words today. I can’t really focus on writing when I’m this tired and distracted.

 

I have got my mum’s transcription done though so that’s one less thing on my agenda. Of course then my sister became a much bigger priority in my life. When one door closes a whopping great big hole in a wall opens.

 

My sister is doing well – tossing back the painkillers ever 4 hours. I managed to get a bit more sleep today but my body is still resisting me. I’m intending to up my dosage of beta-blockers so hopefully that will help. Still I don’t really mind. Time with my sister is never wasted. Looking after her makes me happy even if it is just watching over her as she sleeps.

 

A trip to the acupuncturist today means at least my back pain is down to normal levels and my headache reasonable. Dark glasses are still as standard though.

 

Hours Sleep Today so far : – 5 hours in 2 sessions 😦
Headache intensity / pain level : 3 🙂
Nausea level : 0 😀
Joint / muscle pain : 3 😀
Fatigue : 5.5 😐
Brain Fog : 5.5 🙂

Doctors – 1: Lurgy Monster – 1 …

My sister is coming home today, whoo ! The surgery went well. She was in pain overnight but should be back on her feet in 7 to 10 days.

 

I managed to get 9 hours sleep overnight so am feeling reasonable this morning. Of course I am reciting my ME mantra ‘Just because you feel ok-ish, doesn’t mean you’re fine’. The backlash from ME is almost always worst 48 hours after the big event for me. So the next day I feel tired but ok, the day after that I feel totally trashed.

 

Anyway my sister will be back home sometime today which will be good and bad. Good because I can stop worrying about her all alone in the hospital, bad because I can worry about her here and wait on her hand and foot. So of course I will be overdoing it in the next couple of days. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep a lot of my hand holding restricted to watching tv with her rather than fetching and carrying too often. I will let my dad handle those elements. He’ll feel the need to make himself useful just I like do. I can’t cope if I can’t be fussing over the sick person. Sitting and waiting is the worst thing ever.

 

I’m grateful that my night’s sleep has reduced by back pain. I was on a 6 for back ache last night. Hospital chairs even with a cushion are just not that comfortable. Especially since my feet didn’t reach the floor from the bedside chair that I was in most of the night. I used another chair to prop my feet up but still I do wonder who they design these chairs for? I’m not that short! – 5 foot 4 inches.

 

I think now that I’ve eaten something and taken my tablets I’m going to go and crawl back into bed. Hopefully I’ll be able to sleep over all the lawn mowing neighbours taking advantage of the hot weather. They might be sensible and stop over the hottest hours of the day, although being English I’m not counting on it.

 

Hours Sleep Today so far : – 9 hours in 1 session 🙂
Headache intensity / pain level : 3 🙂
Nausea level : 0 😀
Joint / muscle pain : 3 😀
Fatigue : 8.5 😦
Brain Fog : 8.5 🙂

The lurgy monster has targeted our house …

All four of us have been laid up today with headaches and generally feeling awful. My mum and sister are on the cough sweets, Dad and I are tossing the painkillers back.

 

Despite all this, prior to the brain sucking monster returning, I managed to get a significant piece of writing done. After reading my novel through yesterday, or whenever it was, I realized there are huge chunks of information that I know that the reader doesn’t because the point of view characters don’t. So I was mulling it over last night. Currently I have the details of invasion covered as well as the details of the surveillance covered. But I don’t have any information included on the wider military and political action. So I have created a new point of view character ! A big step since this is a completely new character and therefore I haven’t got any fleshing out work done on her. It is useful though since I can use her to give me inside information from the palace as well as female voice to balance the two current male point of view characters.

 

Right that’s enough writing talk. I must have done something else with my day right! Hah, not really. I pottered about on the internet, watched a episode of Dexter Series 2 and went to bed for the afternoon. Upon crawling out of bed at 19:00 I simply pottered around on the internet looking at NaNoWriMo forums until I could physically get the energy to chew anything. For dinner I went for scrambled eggs, toast and chopped tomatoes – anything to avoid chewing as much as possible. The painkillers eventually kicked in and so I tackled an hour on my mum’s interview transcription.

 

Since then I’ve been making the rounds of my internet favourites. I was hoping my new book on writing ‘The Elements of Style’ by William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White would have arrived today but sadly not. So I shall patiently ( 😦 ) wait for it to arrive on Monday. Please Mr Postman !
Hours Sleep Today so far : – 11 hours in 2 sessions 😦
Headache intensity / pain level : 6 😦
Nausea level : 0 😀
Joint / muscle pain : 1 😀
Fatigue : 6 😐
Brain Fog : 4.5 🙂

Watch out for skull burrowing parasites …

It’s too early !! 😦 Why am I awake? Gahh. I managed 6 hours interrupted sleep over night on the heels of yesterday where I only got 3 hours sleep. I had the most horrendous headache yesterday. I felt like some creature had got it’s mouth parts on the back of my head and was trying to chew its way in, while its pointy sharp fingers tried to gouge out my eyes. I made it to an 8 on my headache scale. It was a pleasant couple of hours in the dark !

 

I was trying to get some sleep in as I am well aware 3 hours sleep is a nap not a night’s sleep. However my afternoon nap was doomed to failure and I spent 3 hours lying in the dark staring at the back of my eyelids. Eventually the pain died down enough that I could cope with my bedside lamp on, so I was able to read my Kindle for another hour before my headache eased down to normal proportions.

 

I used my hours in the dark working out an excellent back history to my fictional countries interactions. Combined with my research on rainfall and geography I think I have a solid basis for why one country would be fertile and the neighbouring country have water shortages. I also tried to think out my current outline. When I started I was only planning on one book for the whole story, but it is taking me a lot longer to get through the first section than I thought. Either this is a bad thing and I’m over writing this section or this is a ‘good’ thing and the story actually stands up to being much more in-depth than I originally intended.

 

I think I have 6 sections to my outline and I’m about 2/3rds the way through the first section. Now they may not all be of equal length but if all six sections are 30,000 words plus then my final word count would be 180,000 words plus. Given that I think this first section is going to need at least 2 more chapters I expect this section to come out at a draft word count of apprx. 48,000, which would make the final word count 288,000. Rather long for one novel !!! So I was thinking, in my enforced darkness, that there is a reasonably natural stopping point in the first 1/3rd of section 3 so I could split the whole story in two at that point and depending on how the last few sections write there is a way to make the last section into an entry into a sequel. Anyway thoughts like this keep me happy and entertained while my head feels like it is being chewed open.

 

‘Good’ stories mutate on you as you write them so I’m not totally surprised by this turn of events but I think I am surprised that I had so much depth planned without really realizing it. I think this is mainly to do with the fact that everything has to have a reason. I can’t write it if I don’t know why it is the way it is even if that reason is never explicitly stated in the novel. Which is why I spent some of my three hour contemplation working out why the building I’m using is place where it is geographical which lead to a complex territorial dispute between neighbouring countries in the early formation of their states. I love my subconscious since the details dovetailed nicely with some previous thoughts I had had on history of certain famous figures in my backstory.

 

Hours Sleep Today so far : – 6 hours in 1 session 😦
Headache intensity / pain level : 3 😀
Nausea level : 0 😀
Joint / muscle pain : 3 😀
Fatigue : 5 😐
Brain Fog : 3 🙂

So now you’re back, from inner Bristol …

My sister is back, yeah ! 🙂 Boo 😦 I’m glad she is back ‘cos I have missed her. But I certainly enjoyed my evenings of pottering about on my computer and starting writing my novel at 10 pm rather than midnight. Of course looking over my activity diary for the week I see either blocks of red (high intensity activity) or green (sleep). My sister forces me to stop and watch TV and take a break; otherwise I end up just carrying on all day with no breaks at all.

 

It’s a genetic flaw. My mum is a work-a-holic. I just enjoy doing the activities so that it doesn’t seem as if I’m ‘working’. Unfortunately with the M.E. my body definitely knows. I’ve had the most horrendous tension headache today – probably brought on by overwork ! I will try better, I will – promise. Don’t believe me? No I don’t either. But I will make the attempt to rein in my need for activity.

 

So today I achieved:

  • I finally finished the first (! 😦 ) interview transcription for my mum – 7000 words spoken in 45 minutes
  • I got 30 pages done of comma checking. At my current rate I have about 2 1/2 hours left of work to do. I also realized I need to check whether there is a capital after the opening ” in speech since you don’t always need one
  • I surfed the web and discovered NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) 😀

 

I love writing and here I have discovered a place filled with other people who love it too ! 🙂 I was investigating whether the word ‘human’ should be capitalized when describing the human race. Google found me a wonderful forum discussion to inform my thoughts on the topic. I’ve spent a couple of hours early this morning wandering around in the forums amazed at the shared thought patterns of sci-fi writers. I have yet to enter the Fantasy forum.

 

I’d heard of NaNoWriMo before but not really known what it was or had my brain functioning enough to go find out. It’s an interesting concept but I’m not sure I could do it. I’m on track to write 60,000 words in a month but I’ve been working on the background ideas and plot planning for a very long time. I don’t think I could sit down with a blank page and mind at the beginning of the month and have a novel by the end ! I’ve discovered that I have a slow burn percolation process for developing my worlds and characters. I need time to live with them and get to know them before I’m ready to jump in and start writing a plot that revolves around them.

 

Although I did just go and get distracted on the forums while writing this post and I found a post that said you are allowed to have an outline and character development – which is all I had when I started this novel a couple of weeks back. So maybe in October (after my exam !) I will join up and use it as a way to write my next (!) novel. Hopefully by then I will be editing this current novel and be ready to start writing another one. I’ve got 3 other almost ready worlds to write about and a possible sequel to this current novel stewing slowly away in the back of my brain. I used to worry I was a one idea writer but now I know I just hadn’t had the right inspirations !

 

Hours Sleep in 24 hours :
Today so far : – 10 hours in 2 sessions 🙂
Headache intensity / pain level : 6 😦
Nausea level : 2 😐
Joint / muscle pain : 2 😐
Fatigue : 5.5 😐
Brain Fog : 4.5 (but feeling out of sorts) 😐